BEST KEPT SECRET

BEST KEPT SECRET by Ann Hatvany

From the inside of the book:

Cadence didn't sit down one night and decide that downing two bottles of wine was a brilliant idea.

Her drinking snuck up on her - as a way to sleep, to help her relax after a long day, to relieve some of the stress of the painful divorce that's left her struggling to make ends meet with her five-year-old son Charlie.

It wasn't always like this.  Just a few years ago, Cadence seemed to have it all - a successful husband, an adorable son, and a promising career as a freelance journalist.  But with the demise of her marriage, her carefully constructed life begins to spiral out of control.  Suddenly she is all alone, trying to juggle the demands of work and motherhood.

Logically, Cadence knows that she is drinking too much, and every day begins with renewed promises to herself that she will stop.  But within a few hours, driven by something she doesn't understand, she is reaching for the bottle - even when it means not playing with her son because she is too tired, or dropping him off at preschool late, again.  And even when on calamitous night it means leaving him alone to pick up more wine at the grocery store.  It's only when her ex-husband shows up at her door to take Charlie away that Cadence realizes her best kept secret has been discovered....

Heartbreaking, haunting, and ultimately life-affirming, Best Kept Secret is more than just the story of Cadence - it's a story of how the secrets we hold closest are the ones that can tear us apart.

I thought this was a very good book.  As I was reading it, I wondered how the author had such a grasp of Cadence's feelings about her drinking problem.  I discovered, reading an interview with the author at the back of the book, that she herself is a recovering alcoholic and many of Cadence's feelings and thoughts mirrored her own.

Cadence, with the help of her therapist and her AA sponsor, finally admits her problem and learns how to go on with her life.  She realizes the effect her drinking has on others, and how she can turn around and help others.  This was a story about acceptance of her faults and being accountable for her actions.  She realizes that it's not a sign of weakness to ask for help.

"The only thing you have control over in this world is your reaction to what life throws your way."  A simple statement that makes so much sense.  You can't change the past, you can't change what other people think about you.  You can only change yourself.  This is the lesson that Cadence struggles to learn throughout this book.

This book will stay with me for quite a while.